Circular
by LittleHellion
Summary: We all break each other.  That's how it's always been.  A team seven oneshot.


Story is Officially Disclaimed.

This is a team seven story...I guess...and it's kind of depressing and tragic and all sorts of angsty goodness.

-

Circular

-

I watch him watch her watch me.

That's the way it's always been.

I never spent time_ thinking _about it; after all, thinking leads to feeling and feeling leads to acting and _really, _I don't want to act. We are Shinobi, and our actions speak volumes, but there's _something_ in me that just wants to quit – never wanted to start.

Yes, I'm selfish.

I don't really care.

Never have.

This circular feeling, our dynamic…it never stops.

_Never _stops.

I find myself _aching _to hear the words she says to me, just so I can pretend he's the one saying them. I give her heartbreak, but she gives it back, so it's even.

He's caught in the middle, but isn't that always the way?

She's sunrise, I'm sunset, and he's noonday sun.

I _could _say it's not his fault, but it is. It's his fault more than it is mine or hers.

_He's _the one who insists on being stubborn, being forgiving, being so goddamn beautiful…and no, I'm not talking about _physically. _I couldn't care less what he _looks _like, but he's beautiful in a sort of _he-can't-possibly-be-human _sort of way.

He's powerful and graceless and _damn it, _if he'd been born female I would've married _him _instead, but I vowed to restore my clan and no matter what I feel for him, I feel a sort-of love for _her._

She's loved me for a long time. We all know it; _he _knows it, and she also knows how I feel about both of them. But she loved me too much to do the intelligent thing and decline my proposal, and even if he returned my feelings, I wouldn't just use her for children.

I may not love her as I should, but I'm not _that _heartless.

-

I watch her watch him.

That's the way it's always been.

He's always been the stronger one, the smarter one, the _better _one, and I can only stand by and watch as they share a life together. It _hurts, _every time I see her swollen stomach, but I refuse to admit it; after all, it's _her _choice, _her _life. I won't resent her for it; I'm not the child I used to be.

That doesn't mean I don't resent _him._

I know he doesn't love her in the right way. He thinks of her as a sister, and despite the disturbing images that brings up, I know that whoever it is he thinks of when he looks at her, would've been a better choice.

I don't know why he chose her when he could've chosen this other woman – whoever she is – and I try not to let it anger me too much. He's a selfish bastard, and…

That doesn't matter. She got what she wanted in the end, and even though it tears at my heart and makes it hard to breathe sometimes, I can be happy for her. Isn't that what I wanted for her…happiness? I just wanted to be the one to give it to her.

Well, I _am _supposed to be a sacrifice, and I'm willing to sacrifice more for her. My beautiful angel. I guess he just needs her more than I do…

Because that's what angels do, right? They love and guide those who need them.

He needs her…

I hope.

-

I watch him watch him watch me.

That's the way it's always been.

I can't help but love him; there was always more to it than just looks and power. Something called out to me, and drew me in. People would be surprised to hear that I didn't always like him; in fact, there was a period of time where I tried _not _to like him, because no matter how much I wanted to fit in, I didn't want to lose my best friend.

But I was only fooling myself.

I know he doesn't really love me – not like a husband loves a wife. I'm his _sister, _and even though that brings a bad taste to my mouth, I can't hold it against him. My brother can't bear my husband's children, and there's a small part of me which thinks it would've been better if he'd been born female.

But that's overshadowed by the part of me that feels grateful for the situation. I know it's selfish, but what can I do? I'm a slave to my feelings, at least when it comes to him.

I watch Naruto's eyes empty, and my Sasuke's eyes grow cold, and I know if I looked in the mirror, I'd see my unshed tears.

This circular selfishness we have…it sickens me, but that's us.

I sometimes wonder when my brother will stop being so dense and realize that there are _so many _people who admire him and would treat him like he wants to be treated by me, but knowing would probably just hurt him. He can't return their feelings, just like I can't return his and my own _husband_ can't return mine.

Maybe it's better this way; after all, my brother is the Hokage (the best yet, just like he always planned), and I know he'd always have a small nagging doubt in his mind – _does he/she love me because I'm me, or does he/she love me because I'm powerful?_

He's never had much confidence in his personality.

I sometimes wish Sasuke had never come back – but that makes no sense, because I love him more than anything. I sometimes wish I had accepted Naruto's dates more often, and I sometimes wish Naruto had killed Sasuke all those years ago.

It's a strange love we all share – I can see my life without Sasuke, but I can't see my life without Naruto…but I'll never love Naruto like I love Sasuke.

Perhaps it's because I lived without Sasuke for years, and even though Naruto was gone too, he wasn't _gone _like Sasuke was.

But wishing is useless, because wishes are only empty fantasies, and I don't _really _want Sasuke to be dead.

I love him, after all.

-

END

-


End file.
